For the last several months I haven’t made time for blogging. At first I thought about it daily; then I started to feel bad that I wasn’t capturing big moments; next I decided to let go of the guilt and just blog when I felt like it. After time I started to feel like I only wanted to sit down to blog when I had time to really write a good post and make use of my time. Well we saw how that turned out. I went cold turkey on no blogging and I’ve gone through all the stages of withdrawal. Wanting to do it, thinking about it a lot, feeling guilty, letting go of the guilt, not thinking about it on a daily basis and now back to wanting to do it.
How do I get back in the groove? I’ve decided devoting 30 minutes every day towards doing something just for myself will be a good commitment to make. Some nights that might be a long bubble bath, painting my nails, working on reading through my growing stack of books or perhaps; writing blog posts.
It’s good to have a goal outside of my kids, you know?
So, here I am, back at it like an awkward date. Trying to catch up and go forward.
We had a lovely Easter with brunch out at Emory’s restaurant with family.
The boys have continued beautifully in their big brother role, doing cute things with Alice. Singing her songs, feeding her puffs at the high chair and most recently working on being her “protector” from their toys ending up in her hands and coaching on the proper crawling techniques.
Alice has blasted through barely sitting status and can now sit unattended for lengthy sessions. She’s now rocking back on her knees and crawling will follow sooner than I’m ready for.
She had her last sink bath a while back and now bathes like a big girl in the tub inside her bath seat and blow up pool.
Our evening routine includes Joel putting the boys to bed and me nursing and rocking Alice to sleep in her room. As I sit quietly in the darkness with her my mind composes all kinds of fragmented blog posts. About how her favorite song is B-I-N-G-O, how Grandpa made a version of the song using the letters of her name. How no one can make her laugh like her brothers. How she’s so vocal now and reminds me so much of the boys at her age. She’s nursing well and I see us continuing until her first birthday and making the big switch to cow’s milk.
She’s blasted through all the baby food I can make and has slowly been working on finger foods.
She’s made me so thankful for my family. For my several-times-a-week visits from Nana and Grandma and Grandpa. I marvel at how fast she’s growing, how it seems faster when it’s the third time around. But others confirm her growth when they have just a week off of seeing her and then remark on all the changes since the last time.
It’s been a hard handful of months with the boys and their relationship with each other. Their competitive spirit has resulted in every little thing being something to win at or be upset over. Who gets to brush teeth first, who gets into mom and dad’s bedroom in the morning, who sits in the window seat in the van, who gets out of the van first.
They love each other fiercely but their fighting was pushing me to the limits of my patience. With encouragement of dear friends I’ve sought out new discipline techniques. I’ve called the EAP line through my husband’s work and talked to their pediatrician. I was so so worried about a possible ADD or hyperactivity issue. I’ve had endless conversations with Joel and tears shed over our situation. Finally in these last two months I’ve found implementation of the Positive Discipline techniques taught by Amy McCready at www.positiveparentingsolutions.com to be revolutionary in how our household feels. We no longer do time outs, naughty step, quiet corner or the calm down bench. Sure, we still have tantrums but now they are navigated in minutes instead the the half hour or longer sessions we used to endure. I HIGHLY encourage anyone going through a trying time with their toddler’s behavior to check out “Positive Discipline” and for those crunched for time, log into Amy’s website and sign up for her video course. It’s a great boot camp for getting your hectic and stressful household on the path to where you want it to be.
I was tired of yelling at the boys and not getting results; and I hated seeing Alice watching her brother’s fight. Now we’re much calmer, and more prepared to train our little guys to become the big kids we want them to be. Last week at dinner time when Joel asked us how our day was I thought back and WOW we had an entire day with zero fighting and no tantrums. It’s taken four years and we finally had a calm day it felt so good.
It’s amazing how much less stressed I feel when I don’t spend a majority of my day playing referee.
So, that’s the updated picture of where The Daveye kids stand, for now.
Alice is rounding 9 months old and is just about as happy as any baby can be. She naps well, though the car naps are starting to phase out and when her up once at night habit breaks I’ll be so rested I won’t know what to do with myself. She babbles making every sound you can imagine, is off and rolling the moment you set her on the floor and just this week has started clapping.
Miles at 4 years old is sweet, helpful and ready for his “one on one times” at the drop of a hat. He has devoured everything Lego he can get his hands on and is deep in the trenches of his Octonauts obsession. He has blossomed into a little guy who can get his own water, thank you very much, and can sort the laundry like no body’s business.
Graham at 4 years old is independent, quick to tell you how it is and lately he surprises me daily with the things he can accomplish. He’s loud both in good and bad ways, loves to sing and is becoming quite the comedian. Graham is still very into the planets and solar system facts. He will sit for long concentrated times working on anything that’s numbers or letters related and he has begun to read and write.